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How the dishwasher crushed connection

Presented by Brezsny Associates
young caucasian adult couple in love having fun while washing dishes
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Those of you reading this are probably seasoned enough to remember your mom or your grandma hanging clothes on the line to dry. The bag or basket of clothespins at her waist or hung over her shoulder, she moved side by side down the line of clothes. The rusty metal rods strung with clothesline swayed in the sun, sheets or shirts bouncing in the breeze.

Terry Ballantyne Brezsny has been a real estate agent with Sereno Group for 13 years.

While there is not much sweeter to our limbic system than the fragrance of sun dried laundry, warm and fresh in the basket, there is also that long lost art of reflection while you hang the laundry. Clothespin by clothespin, reaching to straighten the seam of a shoulder or to even out the waist of a pair of pants. Clip, reach, clip, reach, then dipping into the damp clothes for the next garment in line for the sun.

There was no tweeting or texting, no jarring phone ringing — except maybe the one hanging on the wall in the distant kitchen. In between those clothespins was plenty of time for daydreaming, for reflection, for planning, for fantasy conversations, or fantasy in general. The sun warm on your face as you look up to the line, warm on your back as you dip again into the damp clothes. And if you did this with someone else, there was time for idle chatter, or more importantly, a big revelation or disclosure. Something about the meditative nature of that simple repetitive action relaxed the heart.

Cloths are hanging on clothesline
(manonallard/Getty Images/iStockphoto)

Doing the dishes with someone held the same ripe opportunity to share, to connect. One has their hands in warm, soapy water, sloshing dishes and rinsing them, ready to hand them off to the one holding the dish towel. That recipient of the warm, wet plate methodically dries the item and talks to the washer because washing and drying dishes takes no real brain power, leaving you free to share your day.

Doing the dishes with someone held the same ripe opportunity to share, to connect.

— Terry Ballantyne Brezsny

When machines took over these tasks, it seemed wonderful, and it is certainly less time consuming to load a dishwasher, but nothing will ever replace the intimate disclosures that came during the dinner dishes. The “Hey Mom, can I tell you something?” The revelation of a long held secret, pecked free by the dish towel rounding the plate. I still love washing dishes with company or my kids — all the laughing and clattering of the dishes and pots while we hash over the day or compare notes on the food.

If you haven’t done it in a while, close the dishwasher for one gathering and do dishes together, or hang towels on your zip line. In both cases, be sure your phone is well away and relax into the lovely shared connection of simple chores done with people you love.