Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach lost her beloved husband, Michael, on Feb. 25. In her first column since taking a break to grieve, she writes about the first days and months after he died, why she no longer can watch “Jeopardy!” and why books and piles of laundry give her solace in the night. She is chronicling her journey as a widow and sharing her questions as she tries to find a new normal.
Claudia Sternbach
Claudia Sternbach has lived in Santa Cruz County for almost four decades. This was not planned but somehow our town by the bay has become her forever home and she is grateful. Her writing career began soon after she settled here, inspired by the beautiful coastline and stately redwoods perhaps, or simply finding her community of people. She has been married to Michael all of those 40 years and has one daughter and one grandson who she believes is magical. She will arm-wrestle anyone who might disagree.
The author of three memoirs, “Now Breathe” (Whiteaker Press), “Reading Lips” (Unbridled Books) and “Dear Goldie Hawn, Dear Leonard Cohen” (Paper Angel Press), Claudia has also written columns for many newspapers including the Santa Cruz Sentinel. Her house is overrun with stacks of books, some read, some still waiting to be sampled and that is just the way she likes it. Now in her 70s, she is eager to explore this chapter of her life and share her thoughts with readers in Lookout’s Community Voices section.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
How do we spend the last days of our lives? My husband is eating ice cream and calling the mortuary to tell them when to expect him
Michael, Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach’s husband of 40 years, is deciding how he will die. He was diagnosed with soft tissue sarcoma cancer two weeks before Christmas. He is gathering those he loves around him, eating his favorite foods and watching Judge Judy reruns. Sternbach – who will take a break from writing for a bit to process the loss – writes with love and her characteristic humor to chronicle his last days.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
A Valentine’s tale of caution: Take a moment and appreciate the tiny details of your life, like standing next to someone in the bathroom
Claudia Sternbach wishes she had known last Valentine’s Day would be the last time she would get chocolates from her husband. This year he is too sick to go outside, let alone fill her red, heart-shaped box from See’s. His sudden cancer diagnosis and decline have left her remembering all the tiny moments of joy that make up a life. She reminds us to do the same.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
Michael has always made excellent decisions in life; now he will determine how to die
Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach continues to chronicle the terminal illness of her husband, Michael, who has chosen not to try to treat his cancer. They have been married for more than 40 years.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
Stage 4 cancer: Do doctors worry about delivering bad news?
Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach couldn’t sleep the night before her husband Michael’s cancer diagnosis. How do doctors, she wonders, prepare themselves to tell us hard things? The couple learned a few months ago that Michael has cancer, just as he was set to retire. She has been chronicling the emotional journey.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
If homemade cookies were a cancer cure, I’d be set
Lookout aging columnist Claudia Sternbach continues to chronicle her struggle as she waits to learn her husband Michael’s cancer treatment plan. A day earlier, they had spent several hours up at Stanford Hospital so Michael could have a bone needle biopsy. Leaving the house in the early morning darkness felt almost like the first leg of a vacation, she writes. But rather than loading the car with suitcases and heading to an airport to fly off to Italy or Spain, they were off to Palo Alto with a walker in the back of the car.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
My husband has cancer; waiting to learn the treatment plan is like bracing for a storm
Two weeks before Christmas, Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach learned her husband, Michael, has cancer. They spent the holiday waiting to learn the treatment plan, which doctors will tell them this week. “We cling to each other in disbelief,” she writes. “This was not the plan” for 2024.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
On the lookout for our better angels for 2024
Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach is looking for her “better angels” this holiday season. She is saddened by the Israel-Hamas conflict, the division on college campuses and across the country and the failed attempts at climate reform. She begs us as a species to do better. “We must look like ungrateful idiots to those dancing, winged creatures,” she writes.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
My first Christmas in my husband’s Jewish family was a Charlie Brown Christmas moment
Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach remembers the first time she spent Christmas in her husband’s Jewish family. She missed the “Christmas hubbub” more than she expected. Then, one small, 18-inch gesture worthy of Charlie Brown changed everything.
Posted inOpinion from Community Voices
New children’s book by first-time local author Taylor Lahey offers up a tale of hope
As we turn to the holiday season, Lookout columnist Claudia Sternbach is hungry for tales of community. Recently, she found inspiration in a new children’s book written by Aptos native Taylor Lahey, who moved back home during the pandemic. “Câmbio” tells the story of a community in Brazil that has banded together to solve the city’s trash and transportation problems. “I kept imagining our own Santa Cruz County community doing something similar,” she writes. “Could a program like this work here?”