Quick Take
Santa Cruz engineer and mother Emily Figurski argues that feminism’s next frontier isn’t dismantling masculinity — it’s redefining it. Figurski credits her husband’s equal partnership in parenting and housework as essential to her career success, saying real gender progress happens “in our homes as much as in Congress.” Amid national rollbacks on women’s rights, she calls for policies — from flexible work to universal child care — that make equality at home possible. “True feminism,” she writes, “isn’t about breaking glass ceilings — it’s about building strong foundations.”
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In a world where progress for women is still seen as a threat to tradition, it’s easy to assume that feminism and masculinity must stand in opposition. But why?
What if the strongest allies to working women aren’t just in Congress or corporate boardrooms, but in our homes — changing diapers, doing drop-offs and challenging outdated norms through everyday partnership?
I returned to school in my 20s and launched my career here in Santa Cruz in my 30s, as a mechanical engineer in hardware development, a field still seen as traditionally masculine. At home in Santa Cruz, though, I navigate a different dynamic, managing most of the child care scheduling and household cleaning. My husband leads a team of scientists and engineers using autonomous robots to observe ocean predators in Monterey Bay and is deeply supportive of my career. He manages finances and house repairs, then flexes his demanding schedule to take on school drop-offs and bedtime routines when my work deadlines become more critical than his.
That kind of partnership — rooted in mutual respect and adaptability — is what makes it possible for me to thrive at work and contribute meaningfully to our family’s financial stability in one of the top 10 most expensive places to live in the country.
Returning from an 18-week maternity leave in 2021, I quickly earned the opportunity to lead a new project. With the support of my husband and a nanny, I managed to breastfeed my daughter, perform well in my hybrid role and narrowly avoid burnout — all in that order. My husband’s emotional and physical support sustains me in the workforce, which is increasingly difficult for working mothers.
Since January, 212,000 women over 20 have left the U.S. workforce, while 44,000 men have entered it.
Men like my husband, who balance traditional masculinity with progressive partnership, are vital for women’s progress. Am I operating at my max most days? Yes. But I’m deeply fulfilled by the family and career I love.
Recently, my husband stayed home with my daughter so I could attend the third meeting of the Santa Cruz Feminist Society. The gathering began casually, poolside on a sunny Sunday afternoon in Bonny Doon. The collective feminine prowess was palpable. Lounging like Cleopatra’s cats, existing members welcomed new ones. A warm atmosphere of empathy and collaboration sparked as we took up the day’s core question: Can traditional masculine and feminine styles coexist with progressive roles for women?
One woman shared how her father told her that “working women are the demise of the American family.” She didn’t let his critiques stop her and pursued a career. But, when she received an offer as CEO at a major health care organization, her husband felt strongly she could either choose the job or to have a second child – but not both. She accepted the job. Looking back, she believes she could have had both.
In her time as CEO, she has raised her organization’s minimum wage, promoted women to leadership and created education incentives — decisions that changed lives far beyond her own.
I went to the Santa Cruz Feminist Society gathering hungry for this kind of discussion. Women have always faced life-work challenges, but the pressures feel more acute today, amid recent setbacks like the overturning of Roe v. Wade, the erosion of diversity, equity and inclusion programs, the defunding of Planned Parenthood, and the elimination of feminist studies programs — including the historic one at UC Santa Cruz.
This constant whiplash — gaining ground only to lose it — doesn’t affect just policy. It wears on our sense of identity, belonging and hope for future leadership.
At the meeting, we had the Project 2025 manual — a 900-page conservative policy blueprint designed to roll back decades of progress for women — at the center of our table. It was a stark reminder that women are facing an all-out political and cultural regression. We have a real fight ahead.
Despite our efforts, women still face harsher standards in leadership. Pew Research shows traits like assertiveness and ambition help men, but hurt women. We’ve yet to elect a female U.S. president or California governor.
Even in supportive work environments, many of us have heard lines like the one shared by a clean-energy lawyer at our meeting who was once told by a female colleague: “If you want people to follow your advice, first have a man tell them to listen to you – that worked for me.”
We’ve all felt that sting — of being doubted or diminished, even by people we care about. For younger women, the economic landscape makes balancing family and career even more difficult. In Santa Cruz, affording a home often requires two six-figure incomes.
One woman shared how 2021’s Measure O family housing helped her stay at home as a young mom, but income limits disincentivized her from working. In contrast, Silicon Valley tech companies are offering in vitro fertilization and adoption benefits to attract and retain more women in the workforce. In both models, families face significant trade-offs.
Peel back the top layer of feminist issues and you’ll find struggles with class. The vanishing middle class makes it nearly impossible for one parent to stay home, but also nearly impossible for both to work full time without support. These pressures are not just women’s issues — they affect entire families.
That’s why traditional and progressive roles can coexist — but only when relationships, communities and policies support that choice. At our meeting, we discussed local action: protecting flexible work arrangements, creating universal child care like in New Mexico, ensuring equitable paid parental leave and offering 0% down-payment loans for middle-class families.
True freedom isn’t just about breaking glass ceilings. It’s about building strong foundations — so that choosing to lead, to care or to do both doesn’t come at the cost of our well-being or our families.
Real feminism isn’t about choosing between traditional and progressive roles. It’s about having the freedom to choose — and the support to thrive, no matter what we choose.
Emily Figurski lives in Santa Cruz with her husband and child. She develops eco-friendly micromobility hardware to improve cities worldwide and is a member of the Santa Cruz Feminist Society. If you would like to join the society, you can email the group at: info@scfeministsociety.com