Grey Bears warms both hearts and plates at Valentine’s Day senior dating mixer

Reminiscent of a high school dance, the weathered Grey Bears warehouse on Chanticleer Avenue in Live Oak transformed into a vibrant scene Friday at the nonprofit’s inaugural senior dating mixer.

The previous two years, Grey Bears held a senior speed dating event to celebrate Valentine’s Day, drawing inspiration from the documentary film “The Age of Love,” which follows a candid senior speed dating event in New York.

Grey Bears development manager Kayla Traber said that short-lived speed dating ritual garnered demands for a singles event catered to more than one relationship interest.

“We decided this year to pivot to a seniors mixer so we can have opportunities for our seniors to find love connections as well as friend connections,” said Traber, noting that Grey Bears has a variety of programs aimed at bringing older adults together. “We know both are vital to living a full and nourished life.”

Quickly aging Santa Cruz County is home to more than 72,000 residents over the age of 59. According to U.S. Census data, the county’s 65-84 age bracket grew by 81% between 2010 and 2020. A county survey on aging published in 2024 found that many older adults experience higher levels of loneliness, with 1 in 5 saying they feel lonely or isolated some of the time.

Grey Bears organizers said 150 seniors registered for Friday’s mixer, with nearly 100 in attendance. Upon checking in, they were given the choice of wearing a sparkly heart sticker if they were looking for love, or a pink heart sticker if they were looking for friendship.

A county resident who goes by Bliss, 68, sported both heart stickers “in celebration of duality.”

“I’m looking to expand my social circle for sure. I’m definitely open to making new friends and I’m definitely open to romance,” she said. “Dating is pretty hard in this era, no matter what generation you’re from. I consider myself an outgoing person, so I’m willing to strike up a conversation with different people and see how it goes.”

When seniors registered for the mixer, they included a fun fact about themselves for “People Bingo,” an icebreaker game where participants mingle to find matches to the traits, hobbies or experiences shown on their bingo card.

Each senior carried a different bingo card with an array of personal facts such as “I have been a professional tree-climber since age 9” and “I am shy.” 

The mixer brought in many Grey Bears regulars, from volunteers and thrift store patrons, to older adults who frequent the free hot lunch program at the Grey Bears warehouse, which attracts people across all economic backgrounds in Santa Cruz County. 

Grey Bears executive director Jennifer Merchant said that combating social isolation through events like Friday’s mixer is a crucial complement to the nonprofit’s mission of feeding seniors who face food insecurity.

“It’s a determinant for health and longevity,” said Merchant. “It’s part of nourishing people’s bodies through food, so providing that social connection is really key.”

Seniors shared food and smiles throughout the afternoon, some reconnecting with old friends, and others meeting for the first time, like Miguel Aznar, 61, and Becky Peters, 73.

“Friendship is always a nice side benefit, but I’m mostly looking for partnership because I’ve got an amazing galaxy of friends already,” said Aznar. “Now, maybe Becky and I will be friends, and I would treasure that.”

Peters expressed her enjoyment of the mixer and meeting Aznar.

“It’s a pleasure to meet people like Miguel that I can connect with,” said Peters. “For me, this has been a success because I made a connection.”

Those connections also happen through Grey Bears’ many volunteer opportunities. Of the more than 800 who volunteer with Grey Bears’ 20-plus programs, nearly 70% are seniors.

“We really see ourselves as a ‘seniors helping seniors’ organization, and a place where seniors can belong in all parts of our programs,” said Traber.  

David Field, 65, finds community in being a proud “Grey Bear” of 16 years and hopes to continue fostering friendships through his work as a volunteer. 

“People I’ve known for a long time have either passed or moved away, so I’m trying to rebuild,” said Field. “After being a volunteer for the Friday distributions at Grey Bears, I started to become friends with a few people outside of just Friday morning pickups. I’m just trying to constantly be open to doing more of that.”

Field, as a home-based travel agent, came to the mixer to find a traveling partner and potentially someone to start a band with.

An energetic dance party wrapped the gathering in a heart-shaped bow, with Mita Soroush, a Santa Cruz resident of 15 years and former ballerina, leading the charge. “If you dance,” she said, “your spirit will go higher.”

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