Village Santa Cruz County offers connection and support for older adults – want to join us?

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I am writing in response to Lida Berliner’s recent Lookout op-ed about finding female friends over 50. I want to tell Lida and other older adults who are looking for friendships about the nonprofit Village Santa Cruz County (VSCC), which exists to help people form close relationships as they age. 

The idea is not only to build a friendship circle, but also to support each other as we face and adjust to getting older.  

Lida, Village member Mary Koehring, from the San Lorenzo Valley, knows just how you feel about finding friendship post-retirement. “After years of long working hours and commuting, I realized I had not only retired from my job, but also from my daily social group,” she said. “I felt quite isolated. Village Santa Cruz was so welcoming to me as I faced the challenge that came with my new stage of life. I found a circle of folks who share the joy of making new friends, helping others learn ways to celebrate, or cope with, change and aging, and also appreciate that we all come with our own stories.”

I co-founded VSCC in 2017 as a grassroots network of peer support for aging well. It is not a physical place. It is a membership organization, modeled on the national “villages” movement that connects more than 300 independent villages through Village to Village Network, Inc. 

The 50 Villages in California collaborate through membership in Village Movement California. Village Santa Cruz County is self-sustaining, with a sliding scale fee to ensure accessibility for individuals with limited economic resources. Annual membership is $300 or $25 per month. Sliding scale is $5 to $20 per month.

I retired from UC Santa Cruz in 2014 as an electronics technician for the chemistry department. During my years at UCSC, I was involved in my union, University Professional and Technical Employees (UPTE). That’s where I learned the importance of collective support during difficult situations. 

I see Village Santa Cruz filling a somewhat similar role for older adults.

When I retired and wanted to start volunteering, I wanted to focus on aging, to learn how to age well. I found out through the Seniors Council that since 2010, the population of people aged 65 to 84 has grown faster (80.9%) in Santa Cruz County than anywhere else in California. In 2024, there were 74,495 seniors living in our county, with 1 in 5 older people living alone. 

Many of these folks are lonely.

Before VSCC, my volunteer work included leading a crafting program at Elderday Day Health Care and as an ombudsman for long-term care facilities. I saw that although surrounded by others, residents of long-term care facilities can feel abandoned. I was happy to see volunteers from I-You Venture visiting with residents.

Feeling alone isn’t just an issue in long-term care facilities. Family/friendship loss through out-of-town moves, death, retirement and health, mobility or vision issues can isolate us. Study after study has shown an increased risk to one’s health associated with loneliness and isolation.

I helped found Village Santa Cruz County to connect older adults with one another. We focus on three main areas: relationship-building social activities, education about issues affecting older adults, and volunteer support. We help people live at home longer and have more agency over their lives.

We typically have four to six small group events each week. For me, I have small circles within the 70-plus current members whom I see in my meetups and interest groups. These are the people I feel most comfortable asking for support, the first members I tend to ask for help.

Village member Alice Rink recently wrote to me about her experience: “I had knee replacement surgery. I am so grateful to my Village friends for all the help they provided: the loan of equipment, delicious meals, rides to and from appointments and the hospital, and help with my dog. And more than anything, friendly and delightful companionship which kept my spirits uplifted.”

We learn from each other, informally sharing information on anything from medical doctors who take new Medicare patients to a good handyperson to advice on gardening. VSCC organizes presentations by experts in a particular field. These are often open to the public.

This year, in partnership with the Aptos Branch Library, we will host a May 18 workshop offering tips on how to plan for a sudden medical crisis or slow decline due to dementia, a Parkinson’s or other diagnosis that can leave us unmoored. In VSCC and in my family, I have witnessed people‘s decline made easier or harder depending on how well the person had their affairs in order and had made the information easily available to their loved ones. 

My mother, bless her, planned well, including decluttering, designating power of attorney and writing detailed instructions. Before and after her death at age 96, we could focus on her and not waste time searching for needed paperwork and deciding what to do with a house full of stuff. One of my sisters passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. Things we wanted to ask her, from “What is your phone password? We need your contacts so we can let your friends know you died,” to more personal details of her life, were left unanswered forever.

Sometimes it is hard to ask for help. But I have found it a beneficial skill. It benefits the asker, provides purpose to volunteers and encourages others to seek support. We need to normalize asking for the help we need. 

My favorite social activity with Village Santa Cruz is listening to people’s life stories revealed bit by bit. Right now, I often offer rides for those who can’t drive (temporarily or permanently), but my most-loved way to help out is visiting with members who are homebound. This one-on-one connection is a gift to us both.

I have family in town and am healthy at this point in my life. With three sisters in Santa Cruz, and my loving spouse, Don Lane (a former Santa Cruz mayor),  I imagined myself set for my oldest elderhood years. But when two of my Santa Cruz sisters passed away, the need for VSCC hit home.

I made a commitment to continue this work until I turned 70. I’m now 71 and not stopping. I love the work too much. 

I am hoping Village Santa Cruz will expand in the future to a more intergenerational organization, ensuring that there will be folks to help me when I reach the grand status of an older elder. No matter our age, we all need a supportive friendship network. Come spend some time with us and see if we are a good fit for you. Write to info@villagesantacruz.org with any questions.

Aging doesn’t have to be lonely. 

Mary Howe is a retired electronics technician in the chemistry department at UC Santa Cruz. She is married to former Santa Cruz mayor Don Lane. She helped found Village Santa Cruz County and is the current board chair.